


Soon

by sundaymorningloves



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Coffee Shops, Conversations, Friendship/Love, Light Angst, M/M, No Spoilers, POV Alternating, Post-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24566104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sundaymorningloves/pseuds/sundaymorningloves
Summary: “I’m sorry.”“For what?”“I’m sorry it took me this long. I’ve been nothing but a coward all these years. It was all new to me, I didn’t know what to do with it.”_____Kenma asked a question.Kuroo answered—five years later.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 19





	Soon

**Present**

I looked at my watch. I’m purposely an hour early, partly out of habit and partly out of nerves.

I lit a cigarette and opened my phone. I read his message again.

Hey. Free for coffee tomorrow? 

We haven’t done this in a while, but I know him well enough to know that this was not without reason. So of course I had to say yes.

I purposely came an hour early to prepare myself. The thing is, I don’t know what I’m preparing for.

___________________

**11 years ago**

I saw Kenma right away as I approached our usual table at the cafe, coffee in hand. Eyebrows furrowed, face scrunched up in concentration, his fingers flying away at the keys of his laptop. Cigarette on the ashtray to his right, a giant coffee cup to his left. White earphones snaking to his ears, almost camouflaged by his blonde hair, from the black iPod on his table.

That is the look of someone cramming. Of him cramming.

I pulled the seat in front of him, not bothering to say hi. I slid a plate of his favorite apple pie towards him as I sat down, lit a cigarette and opened my readings for that afternoon’s. Kenma just smiled without taking his eyes away from the screen.

That’s how easy our friendship is. There’s not much that need to be said in words.

__

I felt Kuroo sit across from me but did not acknowledge it. He doesn’t need me to.

I felt him slide a plate towards me, and I already know that it’s a plate of my favorite apple pie, his way of telling me good luck, you can do it, why did you leave writing this paper up to the very last minute, but I know you’ll do great so here’s your good luck-slash-reward.

I smiled without looking at him. He already knows that’s my way of thanking him, no words needed. I don’t need my eyes to betray what my words were hiding.

And that’s how it’s been for the past months.

___________________

**5 years ago**

I folded the paper and slipped it inside the book. The last of his books that I have yet to return. 

This has gone on for too long, I told myself. At this point, I had nothing to lose. Kuroo and I have been friends for so long, and if this is something that will put an end to it, then so be it. I’m ready. I think I’ve been ready for quite some time. I’ve just been too much of a coward to act on it.

I took a deep breath, grabbed my bag and keys, and got out of the car.

“Hey,” he said, looking up from his phone.

“Hi,” I said, lighting a cigarette as I sit across him.

I marvel at the familiarity of it all. The same table, the same coffee, the same person in front of me. 

Nothing has changed, yet nothing is the same. 

__

Kenma sat down across me cigarette tucked snugly in his lips.

We haven’t done this in a long time, yet it feels the same. It feels familiar. It feels like home.

__

We talked for hours. We talked about nothing and everything. We talked until there were no more words that need to be said.

“I have to go,” I said, crushing my half-finished cigarette into the ashtray. 

“Yeah, me too.” 

“Oh, by the way I need to return this to you.”

I calmly handed him the book.

“Hey! I’ve been wondering where this is,” he said, a smile gracing his lips. “Thanks, Kenma.”

“Yeah, no worries,” I said, smiling at him.

“We should do this again,” he said, looking at me. It was the same look as all those years ago, yet it was different.

“Sure,” I said as I stood up. “See you soon”

I smiled as I turned and walked away. 

I don’t know when soon is. I don’t know if I have something to say when that soon comes. I don’t have any more words left to say. 

The only words I have left were the ones he’s holding in his hands now.

___________________

**Present**

I haven’t heard from him from all those years ago. I never really minded, it was something I expected. 

Not that we didn’t see each other. We saw each other at parties, weddings, and other occasions with common friends. We exchanged smiles and hellos, small talks and small nothings. Nothing more, nothing less.

I lit another cigarette.

___________________

**2 years ago**

I’ve been staring at my phone for the last hour. Debating with myself, despite knowing that no winner will come out of it. I’ve been so stupid. So, so stupid.

I didn’t know what it was called. I thought it was friendship. I thought it was comfortable, familiar. And that the words he wrote me broke that. Kenma turned the familiar into something new, something different. He turned home into an unfamiliar territory. Something I didn’t know. 

And I was so slow. I was so slow in realizing that the unfamiliar feeling I’ve had for the past three years was that. The feeling that something was missing, that there’s something I’ve been missing was that. Was him.

It took me three years and a photo to realize my mistake.

The wasted years. The words unsaid.

___________________

**Yesterday**

This has gone on for too long, my friends said. Our friends said.

They know what’s wrong, they know what I needed to do. I know what I need to do, but I’m too afraid. I was a coward. Kenma is the bravest person I know, and I’m a coward who doesn’t deserve him.

But it has gone on for too long. 

_Hey. Free for coffee tomorrow?_

I sent it before my head can catch up with my fingers. 

_Sure. Usual?_

I smiled.

_Yep. See you soon._

___________________

**Present**

I spot Kenma’s form immediately. Cigarette in hand, coffee on the table. Mostly black hair, but traces of blonde at the tips. Familiar, yet unfamiliar.

“Hey,” I said, pulling a chair across him. Praying that my voice betrays nothing.

“Hey,” he said, smiling at me as he takes a sip of his coffee. Oh, how I’ve missed this. Him.

“So,” I started. 

Kenma looked at me, waiting for me to continue. There was no judgment in his eyes, no expectations, no emotion save for the sincere curiosity of what my next words will be.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I’m sorry it took me this long. I’ve been nothing but a coward all these years. It was all new to me, I didn’t know what to do with it.”

He took a long drag of her cigarette, eyes not meeting mine.

“And now you do?” He asked, looking at me. It was a real question.

“Yes.”

I held his gaze, willing him not to look away.

“I love you.”

__

“I’m sorry.”

That was not what I was expecting. I looked at Kuroo, curious.

“For what?”

For the first time in years, I was afraid. I was afraid of what will come next, of what his words will be.

“I’m sorry it took me this long. I’ve been nothing but a coward all these years. It was all new to me, I didn’t know what to do with it.”

I took a long drag off my cigarette, avoiding his eyes. 

This was the last thing I expected. After all those years, not once did I expect this from him. And yet, ironically, I was prepared for this.

“And now you do?” I asked, finally meeting his eyes.

“Yes.” Kuroo held my gaze steady, eyes pleading for me not to look away. I won’t look away. I’m done looking away.

“I love you.”

Five years ago, we talked until there were no more words to be said. And I knew that when I gave him that piece of paper, that will be the last of my words. 

But he doesn’t deserve silence. This time, I’m ready.

I held his gaze, and smiled sadly at him

“Those were the words I wanted, waited to hear all those years ago. And you’re not a coward. You were never a coward.”

I looked away, knowing he wouldn’t want me to see him as I said my next words.

“I love you, and I always will. But the soon that I’ve waited for never came.”

I crushed my cigarette on the ash tray, and walked away.

I’ve waited for that soon for so long. I waited, until I was done waiting. I’ve walked away from this two years ago, and I have no more words to say.

__

I was too late.

**Author's Note:**

> aaaah my first kuroken!! kudos and comments much appreciated <3


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